(Yeah guys, the thriller that I was talking about. Though this genre isn’t my cup of tea, the process of writing a thriller is exciting. Thank you and yenjoyy..!! )
“The tea has got cold” Sheila set down her cup and waited for the two young men who knelt opposite her, clad in just a jean trouser, to do the same.
The younger man, Khalil wiped the blood over his knifed naked chest, cleared his throat- “We do it for a reason.” His voice was steady, but his hands shuddered and his eyes seemed lifeless. He couldn’t even move to rise.
The other man, Abdul looked down his bloody body, tightened his fists and squalled in wrath- “ Terii m** k**……..” but stopped abruptly and howled with unbearable pain when a knife penetrated him under his foot. Sheila wiped the blood that splashed over her arms and withdrew the knife from his foot. Khalil moved close and embraced his companion, who was squalling with pain.
Sheila tossed the knife to a corner, mounted onto the recliner, rested her head and stared at the only over-head lamp in the dimly lit basement room. She inhaled clamorously and heard her breath oozing out amidst the surrounding mid-night silence. She hurled a glance at the wall clock, crowched down to her socks, whispered to herself – “2am. It’s time” and fetched a piece of metal- A Revolver.
Shabbir Khan looked up the hanging bridge, shrouded in the december mist and darkness. His long over-coat, polished shoes, handsome and dark features always seemed sinister at night. His boots made rhythmic tocs overpowering the mid-night silence, as he briskened along the pavement. His ears and eyes sought for any kind of activity along the street. The street at this time, was dead for the day. His walking stopped when he heard a truck approaching him from behind. He slipped his hand inside his over-coat in search of his holster. The sound of the approaching truck grew and he tightened his grip over the revolver.
Sheela stood from the recliner, exposing a shining black revolver clinging on to her laft palm. She drew a thin pistol-silencer from her pocket and attached it to the revolver. Khalil and Abdul searched for their voices. Sheila hesitated, then raised the pistol with both hands. Being a school teacher and just a normal middle class woman, she’d never imagined she’d do anything of this sort in her life. She took a deep breath and fired, shifted her aim, and fired again. Both their foreheads holed, they thrashed on to the ground, moaning. Abdul lost his breath into history within no time. Khalil, Sheila noticed, was still breathing, rippling the blood formed under his nose. Sheila aimed at his nose and fired another shot and squealed out loud with a combined sense of anger and relief- “This much for killing my innocent husband, you bastards.” She grabbed her phone and her coat and hurried to her car.
“Done madam?” her driver enquired.
“Yes. Hurry. Not home. The other room.” Sheila ordered.
The driver hit the accelerator and propelled the car into motion. Sheila retrieved a letter from her purse ; a suicide note that she had written earlier. She ripped it apart into small bits, lowered the window and let it into the breeze.
The sound of the truck grew bigger on Shabbir. With one hand held tight on his pistol, he threw a casual glance. The truck approached closer and closer, but moved ahead without cooking a fuss. He loosened his grip on the pistol, set his coat right and continued walking. The street returned to its original silence ; he could hear his own breath. A cold breeze whistled along the empty lane. Just then, he heard two thuds from across the street. Having spent his entire life in a country where a gun-shot was a daily norm, he decided it came from a gun shot ; from a gun with a silencer. Within a few seconds, another thud disturbed the calmness around him. “My pals” he whispered restlessly, and drew the pistol from his holster and hurried across the lane in search of the feeble thud. Almost like a flash, a speeding car whizzed past him. He turned around, aimed his pistol at the speeding car, but ceased himself from pulling the trigger. He noticed pieces of paper flying out from the car’s window. He examined the bits of paper and then headed back in search of the bodies of his pals. He was READY for REVENGE.
Sheila jumped out of her bed. She could hear motors in the street and the sounds of human movement in the corridors. Residents of the block were calling out good byes to their school going children. Just then, the door crashed open and a tall man rushed in without a word. A shaft of light from outside made her cover her eyes. But the door was closed immediately and bolted. Before she could evaluate the situation, the tall man caught her by her neck and locked her movement. “ You think you can get away?” he pushed the pistol against her forehead, with a heavy breath he repeated again, louder this time- “ You think you can get away?”
He let a minute pass by, settled his mind and pushed the tip of the pistol against her forehead, inhaled deeply -“ I’m Shabbir Khan by the way” and pulled the trigger. The blood flushed out from her head painting the carpet red.
Revenge- It never ends. Does it?
30 comments:
August 26, 2009 at 5:54 AM
woah. seriously, i'm speechless! brilliantly written...i like how you can narrate from two diff points of view simultaneously...just brilliant!
August 26, 2009 at 10:13 AM
:-O
wowieee!!
your first attempt on thriller is it?
mind blowing! hats off arjun!
the way u have written is just awesome! mahhn, i have to learn from you.. :)
about the topic, I agree! revenge goes on..
but superb write up! :)
cheers
August 26, 2009 at 2:19 PM
man... awesome narration... eerie n splendid...
but i kinda expected a twist at the end... he he... dunno why...
good write dude...
August 26, 2009 at 9:28 PM
It's true... hard hitting reality with an equally gripping ending... it may not be your cup of tea... but it is definitely Starbucks coffee... ;)
August 26, 2009 at 9:33 PM
hey arjun...
i knew u were good at humor...dint know u were so good with thrillers as well...how do u think all that...framing it so well..is wonderful..i'm speechless...this was fabulous!
honestly i m not very fond of thrillers...actually havnt read them only..this is amongst the few i have read and really liked it!
great work!
keep it up!
August 28, 2009 at 5:58 PM
woah dude. change in genre? good attempt for a first timer dude. and great theme :)
Keep Writing
cheers
CRD
August 28, 2009 at 8:03 PM
wow bhai..you write thrillers too..this is great..i liked the characters' name
August 29, 2009 at 9:13 PM
oh god!! you are amazing! Hell YES! Revenge goes on and on and on ..
Dear, i have something for u in my blog.. have a look!!
August 30, 2009 at 10:57 AM
@Neha
The best comment i could eva get.. :D.. Thank u so much.. Glad u liked it :D
@Swetha
Not my first attempt ya.. Have written a few earlier.. :)
Thank u so much da... Glad u liked it :D
Thanks..!!
Arjun
August 30, 2009 at 10:59 AM
@Arun
Thanks bro.. :D :D
Twist aa?? hehe... i'm so known for twists that ppl r used to twists.. hehe... For a change this hasnt got a twist.. :P :P
Thanks man..!!
@Akansha
woah.. Starbucks coffee... :P
Thanks for droppng by and for the comment.. :D
Thanks..!!
Arjun
August 30, 2009 at 11:01 AM
@Parul
hey parzii.. u r always come with appreciation... hehe.. its okay.. u can criticize :D :D
Thanks as ever for those nice words.. :D ... I cld guess u r not the 'thriller' kinda person.. hehe..
Thank u s0 much..
Thanks..!!
Arjun
August 30, 2009 at 11:03 AM
@Christopher
This not the first attempt bro.. :D .. Have written a few earlier..
Surprised to see u here.. Equally glad as well.. :D
Thanks..!!
Arjun
August 30, 2009 at 11:05 AM
@Saif
Saif bhaiiii... kaise hoo?? ;)
Thanks yar.. :D ...
@Inty
Glad u liked it Swetha..!! :D :D
And thanks a million for the award.. am humbled..!! :D
Thanks..!!
Arjun
August 30, 2009 at 1:00 PM
fantabulous..!! i just loved it.. m gonna come bck for more :)
August 30, 2009 at 1:03 PM
waah waah em punch annaya !!
arey jokes apart chaala baagundhi :D
August 30, 2009 at 4:15 PM
@Aanya
Thank u so much Aanya.. Wld be glad to see u :)
@Chellsss
haha.. Thank u ;)
August 31, 2009 at 8:08 AM
it was totally coool
i luved it
u hav tis distict n weird style of urs
dunt lus it
August 31, 2009 at 8:08 AM
u r strange..u kno tat rite
August 31, 2009 at 10:22 AM
lachu...
Can u throw some light on the - " U r strange " thing pls.. i dont understand.. :P :P
Glad u liked it.. :)
Thanks..!!
Arjun
August 31, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Arjun!!
your just too goood bro!
amazing!
i loved reading few fiction posts of yours and i dont have words to explain the thriller posts of urs!!!
can u take tuitions please???
i wanna write like u :)
August 31, 2009 at 11:57 AM
the style of presentation was excellent and considering this is your first attempt at thriller.. you kind rockkkeedd man!!
i particularly liked the way you described the ambience..
blogrolled you.. hope u visit mine..
cheers!!
August 31, 2009 at 1:02 PM
@Rag
wow... Thank u sooo much bro..!! :d Glad u liked it... Thank u for those lovely words... I'm like flying above my chair ryt now.. hehe :P
Tuition aa?? sure...... Wat will u give me in return?? ;) :P
Thanks..!!
Arjun
August 31, 2009 at 1:03 PM
@ R S
Thanks man..!! Though this isn't my first attempt.. :)
Thank u so much once again... Will surely drop by soon.. :)
Thanks..!!
Arjun
September 2, 2009 at 7:39 AM
Hello Friend, Hope everything is fine.
I am a researcher from psychology department. Interested in bloggers and their behavior. My research topic is "Blogging Improves Self-Identity". In connection with my research I need your help. If you spare your mail id, I will be sending the research questionnaire's to your mail Id. You can give your responses to the questionnaire. My mail Id is meharun@gmail.com. Kindly cooperate in this survey. Your response will be used only for research purpose. To end with friendly note, I am always ready to help you if you have any queries or doubts related to psychology. Thank you.
Meharunnisha
Doctoral Candidate
Dept of Psychology
Bharathiar University
Coimbatore - 641046
Tamil Nadu, India
meharun@gmail.com
September 3, 2009 at 3:47 AM
Hmm.. I don't know what to say!! It was good but you write much better than this. Seriously dude, felt like the story ended even before it took a start. You are good at this genre too, the previous posts do prove that. Keep writing more of this and you will be the master of thrill and mystery as well, apart from being the humour king.
Cheers!!
September 4, 2009 at 11:27 AM
nice attempt on writing a thriller...in fact it doesnt seem like its the first time!
September 5, 2009 at 7:23 AM
That was a wonderful post..
loved every li'l bit..
What appealed to me thee most is the last live the very last line...
yeh true..revenge..never ends....
:):)
September 5, 2009 at 7:24 AM
Typosss..plz ch out ;)
September 5, 2009 at 6:10 PM
@Mehar
I can be of help for sure. But, i dint receive any such mail from u . :)
@Saket
Thanks bro :)
Yeah, there r no surprises in this story, unlike in regular thrillers. I wanted to keep this simple and it ended up this way..
Thanks a ton for the comment :)
September 5, 2009 at 6:15 PM
@Ria
Thanks. This is not my first attempt though :)
@PJ
Thanks PJ.. ;)
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