Scene – Feb 14th , I am driving to my friend’s place and I’m already late by half an hour . My cell phone ringing , it was him ----
Me – “Hello ! ”
Him – “You still in the car ? ”
Me – “No, I’m running alongside it . ”
Him – “You must have reached here by now . I’m waiting . Where are you ? ”
Me – “On the way ”
Him – “Okay , where exactly are you ? ”
Me – “ In the car ”
Him – “ Okay , where’s the fuckin’ car ? ”
Me – “Street 29 . 2 mins ”
We hung up . I reached his home , found him and shook hands .
Me – “ Happy Valentines’ Day ..”
Him – “Happy Independence Day. You are single right? ”
Me – “Yup.Where’s your valentine ? ”
Him – “ With her valentine . I’m ‘ex’ now . ”
Me – “ Oh , where’s the party ? ”
Him – “You teasing me?? ”
Me – “ No , I don’t tease ‘betrayed bachelors’ u see . I only pity them . ”
Him – “ Shut Up ”
Me – “ Okay , what’s the reason you insisted me in coming here ?”
Him – “ Just a casual meeting over a cup of coffee ”
Me – “ It sounds like – Do me a favour and I’ll treat with you with coffee. ”
Him – “You are smart ”
Me – “ Well , I’m here to meet you , am I still smart ? ”
Him – “ Over Smart ”
Me – “ What can I do for you ? ”
Him – “ Dude , I flunked in 2 subjects . My mom literally blew steam into my ears whole night last night. ”
I was about to laugh out loud but for a gentleman I was , I din’t .
Me – “ So you aren’t joining us for the weekend picnic ? ”
Him – “ I want to, but you should convince my mom . ”
Me – “ No way . She is terror man, terror . How can I forget that day when she blew fire (not steam) when I wore a low waist jeans and stupidly gestured – ‘ It’s Fashion ’. I’m only glad that she din’t cane me .
Him – “Hey come on , please . One last favour for me , please .”
Me – “The fourth ‘last favour’. Okay , I shall try . ”
Him – “ One more thing ”
Me – “ Dangerous thing . What’s that ? ”
Him – “ I lied to her that you’ve flunked in 3 subjects. ”
Me – “ Dude , you are shit . Any other lie about me ? ”
Him – “Sorry . No . ”
We went in to meet her . There was something foreboding about this whole thing . Meanwhile , she was blasting at her cook . I heard her shout – “ Why is there less sweet in the sweet ? ” . Whatever that is . Finally , we entered the dragon , she saw me & we greeted each other .
His Mom – “ Looks like a ‘Failed Students’ conference . Can I know what is the agenda ? ”
Me – “ Nothing like that aunty . We are planning to go to Goa this weekend . Came for your permission . ”
His Mom – “ Oh , I thought he told me it’s to tirupathi ”
Oh shit . I was lost for bad words for my dear friend .
Me – “ Oh ya , Tirupathi ”
His Mom – “ Seems like your rehearsals din’t go right . I don’t like you people lying at me . ”
Me – “ Sorry aunty ”
His Mom – “ Okay , I’ll ask you one question . You answer me right now & I’ll consider about the permission . ”
After a minute’s pause
Me – “ Okay , go on. ”
His Mom – “ Where was my son last evening ? ”
Oh God , a liar what he was , I din’t have an idea as to what he had told his mother . I looked at his silly face wanting to kill him. I deduced that telling her “ I don’t know ” would be a safe bet .
Me – “ I don’t know aunty”
His Mom – “He said he was at your place for combined study and you yourself didn’t know about that. That’s Great . ” She continued “ No picnic , nothing . Liars . ”
Totally pissed off at his sillyness, his mother’s ‘adding insult to injury’ programme and my stupidness to go there in the first place , I drove back home .
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